How to Properly Care for a Toddler's Teeth

Holy neglected blog. My apologies. Not that you were standing by with anticipation or anything, but my apologies nevertheless. Since I last posted, I’ve been busy with a) another baby and b) entering the HGTV dream house sweepstakes. Both very time-consuming. 

I’d like to tell you about my latest debacle as a parent: brushing teeth. Or rather, not brushing teeth. I was concerned recently that the twins wouldn’t be getting an adequate amount of fluoride for those little white daggers that have recently taken over their once-sweet little mouths. But what do I know about fluoride? Nothing really. My knowledge is limited to this: I think your teeth need it, and I think you get it from tap water. No real solid knowledge here. At our house, we drink bottled water, because LA County tap water tastes like pipes, and dirt, and what I imagine runoff and smog to taste like. So according to my knowledge of fluoride, we must be missing out. 

I had a close friend over (whom I grew up with) who’s father happens to be a dentist. One day I had her get him on the horn so I could ask a few questions about the tater tots’ new teeth. We very quickly got past the fluoride  concern (get supplements from your pediatrician) to a more pressing issue, that of actually brushing their teeth regularly. I told him a few things about how that works here. 

I brush their teeth in the bath at night. That is, when I remember to. So maybe three times a week. I don’t use toothpaste. Oh, and they pretty much just bite the toothbrush, so it really becomes a tug-a-war instead of a cleaning session. Its a very amusing game to them. Once I’ve finally wrestled the toothbrush out of the mouth of twin A, I dip it in the bathwater to “clean it off”, and I begin the toothbrush-biting tug-a-war again, with twin B. So to recap: most of the time I forget to brush their teeth, when I do remember, there’s not really any brushing going on, and for toothpaste, I use dirty bath water. Which for a fact I know they pee in, immediately, as soon as they get in the tub. 

My friend’s dad the dentist said he would double check the literature on pee-acid toothpaste water, and suggested we preform our own study if none exists. Then he said, “You wanna know the biggest issue? When four year-olds have grills? Juice in their cup. And bottles in their crib.”

And then folks, I went to my kitchen and threw Mott’s for Tots in the trash, sprinted upstairs, took the empty bottles out of their cribs, threw those puppies out the window, and promptly ran the twins a bath so I could take care of their teeth properly, like any good parent would, with pee water.